Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I'm depressed?

16 February 2010

I didn't get a chance to look at my emails until this morning. Thanks Almerick and Henry for organising and collecting it. I'm possibly the hardest person to shop for because I tend to get everything that I need. When Seney wanted to get me a birthday present which was a wallet. She made me go into the store to have a look and I ended up buying it as I saw through her plan, instead she had to think long and hard for a new gift which was a calender that she made. I'm not sure what I'll do with it but I guess donating it to another charity is probably a bad idea as you guys would've done it yourselves. I like the numbers, it means something I guess which was priceless in a way, yes I know the amount is equivalent to the numbers. However what I'm trying to say is that it was thoughtful and meaningful.

I have a hard time explaining things and when I say something I think is funny I often laugh as I tell it. I'm thinking faster than I'm talking. Typing is the same thing, I think about things faster than I type them. So bear with me through it all. Haha bear. I typed 'bare' to Seney which she told me it was 'bear' so that is something that I won't forget.

Alright, so I started watching 1LOT again (I'm finished with ep 2) and an initial symptom for her was severe weight loss this also happened to me I went from like 55kg to 46kg which is a 20% drop off. I would've seen this and it would've alerted me to it before the unsteady walking developed.

Yesterday (15.2.2011) I went to the doctors like I mentioned in the previous post. However I didn't mention that he prescribed me with an anti-depressant. Now do I really need it? He also suggested I go and do some water based exercises to improve my outlook on the future. Its hard to be like before when I can't do the things I could. Showering scares me I take the shower then put on my underpants then dry off and go to my room to sit down and get dressed because I'm scared of falling. I'm not allowed to go out alone anymore.
How do I think positively? That is something I want to show others because I have accepted my fate.
I get emotional too easily, shedding tears when things often overwhelm me with emotions. Is this an inherent weakness? If you have met me I'm sure you think that I wear my heart on my sleeve. Go on close your eyes and think of how you would describe me.

Just now my i{Phone decided to not respond, I just locked it and it will not unlock and it was on at the time. So i'm not sure what to make of it.

Items can be replaced with newer items that are often better than the old. So it doesn't really bother me too much that the iPhone decided to not work. What bothers me is the fact I could miss calls and sms'.

1 comment:

  1. water exercises should be fun you wont hurt yourself if you fall over in the water too, just float.